Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
whose parrot is this?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize