I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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