Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
