I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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