i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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