you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize