By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Randomize
