i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
vagina is talking i cant
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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