Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
