if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize