Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That's when you crack a 10am beer
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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