Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
