Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
