Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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