the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
