TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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