we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
