He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
