Apparently you make a good broom.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
