The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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