haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
