Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
