How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize