We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
