I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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