I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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