Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
