well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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