Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
