talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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