well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
