Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
