I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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