I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
PANTIES FOUND
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