she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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