Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
