I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
