I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
