we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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