What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
