I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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