I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
