My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
