Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
