We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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