Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
birth control should be required to get into college
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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