Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
