Where did you get a picture of my penis
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize