Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize