Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
