i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
