ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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