i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
