We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
