Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
