im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
