Im at strip club and am horny
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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